Forget My Sleeve, I Wear My Heart on My Earlobe

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            I am no stranger to bad habits, but today I am keenly aware of the side-effects of one of my mindless quirks.  My left earlobe is red, slightly swollen and throbbing.   Evidently, when my internal worry alarm is activated, it automatically triggers my left arm to pull, pick, and twist my left earlobe. 

            Usually, my oldest daughter, Riley, is around to gently remind me not to desecrate my ear, but she is away at college and my left earlobe has been left unprotected.  This week has been an especially trying week, as I have been plagued with worry about one of my children (not the earlobe protector).   It seems that worry over one’s child can launch quite an assault on a vulnerable defenseless earlobe!

            Checking the mirror this morning, much to my dismay I discovered that my left earlobe is quite noticeably longer than my right earlobe!!!  Dear God!!  I am going to have to tie my left arm down until I get these kids raised!   This thing is going to be flapping in the wind, before Riley gets home for Christmas break.  It’s bad enough that these kids have given me stretch marks, grey hair and tension headaches and now I have to deal with this elongated mismatched lobe!!! 

            So, I guess I am destined to a life with my head tilted slightly right to offset the result of my nervous ritual, which actually is fitting since I have always had a catawampus view of the world anyway. Note: Catawampus is one of my favorite words in the universe.  In order to get the full effect of this fun word, it is imperative that you read it how I say it and not the way it is correctly pronounced.  My pronunciation is-CATTY-WAMPUS.  Also, I tend to frequently play on this word, making it a proper noun.  If I am particularly out of sorts or have screwed something up, I use the term “Karriwampus”.  If my dog, Cooper can’t jump on the bed because his pillows aren’t stacked right, it is because they are “Cooperwampus”.     They say the eyes are the window to the soul, but in my case it is the left ear that tells the secrets of a worried heart.  I love being a mom, but sometimes it is exhausting carrying the weight of the world on my earlobe.

One response »

  1. Your earlobe is on the top of my things to watch list. I will try to make Riley proud and keep your earlobe from hanging to your elbows. Now we just need someone to fill the other hours of the day that we are not together.

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